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Artist Profile: Kendrick Lamar – The Onion

  • February 7, 2025
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Fresh off five wins at the Grammys, rapper Kendrick Lamar will headline Super Bowl LIX’s halftime show this Sunday. Here is everything you need to know about the artist. Birthplace: Calabasas, CA Genre: Grammy rap Favorite Instrument: Mouth Childhood Pen Pal: Aubrey Graham of Toronto Biggest Fear: Confrontation Biggest Fan: Drake’s lawyer Conservative Turn: 2027 […]

Artist Profile: Bad Bunny – The Onion

  • January 24, 2025
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Bad Bunny’s new album Debí Tirar Más Fotos has climbed to No. 1 on the Billboard charts, beating out Taylor Swift. Here is everything you need to know about the artist. Birth Name: Craig Peterson Age: Whatever being born in 1994 makes you…maybe 22? Obligatory Kardashian Relationship Duty: Fulfilled Genre: Cross-algorithm Vocal Style: Unintelligibly drunk […]

Artist Profile: SZA – The Onion

  • January 10, 2025
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Singer-songwriter SZA has released Lanathe long-anticipated deluxe edition of her critically acclaimed 2022 album SOS. Here is what you need to know about the artist. Musical Genre: Murder jazz Vocal Style: Power whisper Fandom Name: People currently crying in their cars Mental Health History: Easily set to verse Uncomfortable Venn Diagram She’s In Middle Of: […]

Comedy & Jokes

Political Profile: Pete Hegseth – The Onion

  • December 20, 2024
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Pete Hegseth, Trump’s pick to lead the Pentagon, has refused to withdraw his nomination amidst allegations of financial mismanagement and sexual misconduct. Here is what you need to know about the Defense Secretary nominee’s background. Marital Status: Third wife, 12th affair Military Rank: Goon Speaking Style: Eight drinks in Hairstyle: Speaking role in American Psycho […]

Celebrity Gossip & Entertainment News

Barron Trump Keeping Low Profile at NYU, Playing Video Games With Students

  • December 5, 2024
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Barron Trump isn’t soaking up the spotlight while attending New York University, and he’s using video games to socialize with his peers … this according to current students. TMZ spoke with several students at the prestigious Manhattan university, who tell us Barron spends little time on campus … quickly moving in and out of buildings […]

Comedy & Jokes

Political Profile: Matt Gaetz – The Onion

  • November 23, 2024
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President-elect Donald Trump selected Matt Gaetz as his choice for attorney general. Here is what you need to know about the former Florida congressman. Age On Tinder: 22 Height: 6-foot-2 with extra gangle Speaking Style: Scorned debate champion Religion: As needed Criminal History: Unfolding Forehead Movement: Critically endangered Fake ID Connection: Solid Type Of Sleazy: […]