WASHINGTON—Fulfilling a campaign promise made by President Donald Trump, the U.S. Department of the Interior announced Wednesday that it was enacting a ban on unlikely animal friendships, effective immediately. “Starting today, any animal found frolicking or snuggling with an animal of another species—for example, a chimp cuddling a puppy or a magpie preening a pig—is […]
President-elect Donald Trump promised to abolish the U.S. Department of Education. The Onion examines the pros and cons of eliminating the federal agency. PRO: Paves way for bold new predatory loans CON: Without standardized testing, it is impossible to tell which of the nation’s youth should be selected for the new super-soldier program. PRO: Take […]
Throughout his campaign, Trump and his allies promised to dismantle the Department of Education—an attack Republicans have been campaigning on for years. A candidate for United States Senate suggested throwing the agency “in the trash can.” Another called it “one of the worst monstrosities that’s ever been created.” Dismantling the Department of Education could leave […]
Jay-Z’s Team Roc—the “philanthropic and social justice division” of the mogul’s Roc Nation entertainment company—is fighting for justice in Kansas City, Kansas. Per NBC Newsthe company just filed a suit against the Kansas City, Kansas Police Department (KCKPD) and the Unified Government of Wyandotte County/Kansas City, Kansas, for failing to “timely produce” law enforcement records […]
Deep in the labyrinth of Studio 8H—the longtime home of Saturday Night Live at 30 Rockefeller Center—actor Chloe Fineman sits in a chair with a wig cap on. “I call this the penis head,” she says, pointing to the stretchy, fleshy, nylon. “The amount of people I’ve met looking like this…Leonardo DiCaprio, Colin Farrell…” Beside […]
The State Department announced on Wednesday its entering the late 20th century and immediately making its new online passport renewal system fully available to the public. Tweet may have been deleted The new offering replaces the former method — printing out a paper application and mailing it with a check. The State Department declares the […]
