USANEWSLOL

Comedy & Jokes

Department Of Interior Bans Unlikely Animal Friendships

  • February 5, 2025
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WASHINGTON—Fulfilling a campaign promise made by President Donald Trump, the U.S. Department of the Interior announced Wednesday that it was enacting a ban on unlikely animal friendships, effective immediately. “Starting today, any animal found frolicking or snuggling with an animal of another species—for example, a chimp cuddling a puppy or a magpie preening a pig—is […]

Comedy & Jokes

Wake up babe, new pygmy hippo just dropped

  • January 31, 2025
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We all know (and love) this amazing lady. She needs no introduction. But obviously, she deserves one. This is Moo Deng aka Bouncy Pork aka Queen of the Universe…well, my universe, at least. You are all very aware by now of my – some might say “unhealthy” – obsession with her. But there’s no denying […]

Comedy & Jokes

Court Rules Elephants Can’t Sue To Leave Zoo

  • January 31, 2025
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The Colorado Supreme Court unanimously ruled that five elderly elephants don’t have legal standing to sue to leave a local zoo because they’re not human. What do you think? “We can still sue elephants though, right?” Molly Klink, Jam Spreader “That’s all the greenlight I needed to start eating them.” Joe Caruso, Megaphone Tester “What’s […]

Comedy & Jokes

Study Finds Peeing Contagious In Chimpanzees

  • January 24, 2025
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A study published in the journal Current Biology found that when one chimpanzee urinates, the others in a group are more likely to follow, a phenomenon called “contagious urination” that could have deep evolutionary roots in humans as well. What do you think? “I can’t believe some people are lucky enough to get paid to […]

Comedy & Jokes

City Zoo Scrambles To Hide Animals Ahead Of Landlord Visit

  • January 18, 2025
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SAN DIEGO—As they shooed a herd of giraffes into a nearby bathroom, workers told reporters Friday that they were frantically scrambling to hide all of the San Diego Zoo’s animals ahead of a visit from the landlord. “He texted an hour ago saying he was dropping in to check the garbage disposal, so we’ve been running […]

Comedy & Jokes

Time to touch some grass and enjoy these Bushcraft photos

  • January 14, 2025
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It may be winter, but there’s no time like the present to get outdoors. Thanks to the Bushcraft community, we’ve compiled some awesome setups, fire pits, and shelters. I can’t stress enough how important it is to hang out in nature every once in a while. Trust me, your mental health will thank you. Enjoy!